Picture this scenario: –

You pick up your phone ‘just to check’ and three hours vanish into scroll after endless scroll. You meant to pay attention during dinner, but your mind was everywhere except at the table. You promised yourself you’d move your body today—but here you are, exhausted before you even started.

These aren’t personal failings. They’re patterns of colonisation. Systems designed to extract your attention, time, energy, money, and life force—and make you blame yourself for that disconnection.

The first three steps of Te Poutama o te Ora are about waking up to what’s really happening, establishing your right to choose differently, and building the strength to resist when those systems fight back.

Let’s walk this foundational journey together.

Step 1: Te Ohorere – The Awakening

Seeing What You Haven’t Been Seeing

You cannot change what you don’t see. The most effective colonisation happens below conscious awareness—automatic patterns so normalised that they feel like personal choices.

Step 1 is simple but not easy: For seven days, you become an observer of your own life. Not to judge yourself or fix anything. Just to see.

You track your behaviours across five dimensions:

Every day, you answer these same questions. No editing or justifying; just the truth.

After seven days, patterns emerge:

This awareness isn’t comfortable. You might discover things that shame or alarm you. But here’s the truth: There is no judgment, just information. The beginning of making different choices.

Te Whāriki o te Ora – Goal Setting

After tracking your behaviours, you rank each dimension:

You don’t try to fix everything at once—that’s how change fails. You choose three specific goals, the ones that matter most right now:

These aren’t wishes, they are invitations to reclaim what colonisation has taken: your attention and body, your presence and life.

Step 2: Te Whakatūria tō Mana – Establishing Your Authority – Knowing to Doing

Awareness is powerful. But awareness alone doesn’t change anything. Step 2 is where you transform what you know into what you do.

Te Whakatūria tō Mana means establishing your mana—your authority, your power to choose. In te ao Māori, mana exists inherently. You already have it. But mana strengthens through action, showing up, choosing yourself consistently even when it’s difficult.

This is where your goals get specific. Not vague hopes but actual commitments:

Before: “I want to be more present with family.”

Now: “One meal every day with my family, phones in another room, focused on each other.”

Before: “I should exercise more.”

Now: “Walk for 20 minutes every morning after breakfast.”

See the difference? The first is a wish, the second is a practice.

Making It Easier to Choose Yourself

You don’t rely on willpower alone—willpower is limited, and you need it for harder things.

Instead, you design your environment to make sovereignty the path of least resistance:

You also attach new practices to existing routines—’habit stacking.’ After dinner, we walk. After work, phones go in the drawer. When you wake up, journal for five minutes. The routine becomes the trigger; the decision is already made.

The Three-Tier System: Sustainable, Not Perfect

You organize your practices into three levels:

Tier 1: Daily Non-Negotiables – Do every single day, no matter what. (Example: One meal with family, fully present).

Tier 2: Regular Practices – 3-4 times per week. (Example: Walk 20 minutes on Monday, Thursday, Saturday).

Tier 3: Aspirational Rhythms – When possible, without guilt if missed. (Example: Evening reflection before bed).

This structure prevents the all-or-nothing trap. You’re not trying to be perfect. You’re building the muscle of showing up. Every time you follow through, your mana strengthens. When you begin to notice you have drifted and you return to practising without shame, your mana strengthens.

Tracking Your Practice, Not Your Perfection

You keep it simple. A checkmark for each day you showed up. Not how perfectly you walked or how enlightened the dinner conversation was—just: Did I do the thing?

This builds identity: ‘I am someone who walks.’ ‘I am someone who shows up for my family.’ ‘I am someone who protects my focus.’

When you miss a day—and you will—that’s not failure. That’s information. What got in the way? What needs adjusting? You note it, adjust, and continue. No shame stories, just learning.

Step 3: Te Whakawhanake i tō Kaha – Developing Your Strength

When Systems Push Back

Here’s what you might have noticed: When you started protecting your attention in Step 2, the world didn’t just accept it. Things got harder.

This isn’t your imagination. When you begin extracting yourself from dependency systems, they escalate. They test your boundaries to find new ways to hook you back in.

Step 3 is where you build kaha—not just the right to choose (that’s mana), but the capacity to sustain those choices when everything is designed to break your resolve.

The Nine-Day Resistance Challenge

For nine days, you intentionally strengthen your boundaries. Each day targets a specific capacity:

Day 1: Block time in your calendar. Make your practices non-negotiable appointments with yourself.

Day 2: Create physical boundaries. Devices go away during practice times—not face-down, actually away.

Day 3: Strengthen your anchor. Walk immediately after eating. Dinner happens at 6pm. The routine makes the choice.

Day 4: Shrink the requirement. Ten minutes counts. Sitting at the table counts. Something is always better than nothing.

Day 5: Name your purpose out loud. ‘I walk for my health.’ ‘We eat together to connect.’

Day 6: Get social commitment. Tell your family, ‘This is our mealtime.’ Ask for support.

Day 7: Expect resistance and plan for it. Weather will be bad. You’ll feel tired. Someone will want their phone. Have your response ready: ‘We’ll walk shorter.’ ‘Phones after dinner.’ ‘Ten minutes only.’

Day 8: Track consistency, not performance. Did we eat together? Did I walk? That’s all that matters.

Day 9: Protect the habit. Use clear, neutral language: ‘We eat without devices.’ ‘I walk every day.’ Not negotiable, just fact.

This isn’t about willpower. It’s about structure, repetition, lowered friction, and clear boundaries. You’re training follow-through, not motivation.

Building Boundaries That Hold

Beyond daily practices, you need ‘architectural boundaries’—systems that make resistance automatic:

Device segregation: Work device separate from a personal device. Phone versus computer. Each has specific, limited purposes.

Space segregation: Phone-free zones in your home. Sanctuary spaces where dependency cannot reach.

Time segregation: Communication windows when you check messages. Creation windows when phone is off. Rest windows with complete disconnection.

These structural boundaries protect you when you’re depleted, when willpower is gone, when resistance feels impossible. The decision is already made. The boundary holds automatically.

Standing in Your Authority

The hardest resistance often comes from people you care about. You practice authority statements—declarations without apology or explanation:

Instead of: “I’m trying to spend less time on my phone, so…”

Say: “I’m offline after 7pm.”

Instead of: “Sorry, I can’t afford that right now because…”

Say: “That doesn’t work for my budget.”

Instead of: “I’m working on being more mindful when I eat, so…”

Say: “I don’t eat with screens.”

Notice the shift? The first version seeks permission. The second claims sovereignty. You’re not asking if it’s okay to protect yourself. You’re stating what is.

Building Collective Resistance

Individual resistance is powerful. But collective resistance is transformative.

You find 2-4 others who are also reclaiming their lives. You meet weekly—even just 30 minutes—to share what you’re facing, strategize together, celebrate victories, and remind each other why this matters.

When you resist alone, systems isolate you. When you resist together, you normalize boundaries that the world calls extreme. You share strategies that work. You sustain each other when personal capacity wavers.

Your healing is resistance. Your sovereignty is rebellion and when you rebel together? That’s when real change becomes possible.

What You Carry Forward

At the end of these three foundational steps, you have:

This is the foundation, not the destination, but the ground from which everything else grows.

Steps 4-9 will deepen this work—moving from resistance into sovereignty; practice into mastery; effort into ease. But none of that is possible without this foundation. Without awareness, authority and strength.

The systems that colonise your attention, time, body, and your resources—they are real. They’re designed by brilliant people who understand how human brains work and backed by billions of dollars and sophisticated algorithms.

But here’s what they can’t engineer: your decision to see clearly. Your commitment to show up for yourself. The capacity to resist when it matters. The refusal to blame yourself for systemic problems and the willingness to build something different.

The challenges you face aren’t personal failings. They’re colonisation. Your wellness work; that’s resistance, reclamation and the beginning of liberation.

Every boundary that holds under pressure strengthens your kaha. When you resist distraction, you build resistance muscle. When you return to practice after slipping, you prove your capacity.

You’re not broken. You’re waking up and that awakening is the first step toward everything.

Kia kaha. Kia māia. Kia manawanui.

Be strong. Be brave. Remain steadfast.

The foundation is real. Your mana is real. Your kaha is growing. The spiral continues.