Personal development is a journey that many embark on to enhance their quality of life, improve relationships, and achieve greater satisfaction. The journey to achieving this vision starts with setting clear, achievable goals. I have termed these as ‘Goal and Wellbeing Dimensions’.
Let’s examine some examples using the five Pou of Te Poutama o te Ora.
“Strengthen whānau bonds through regular meaningful contact, shared meals, and honouring family stories and traditions.”
In itself, this might seem like an easy goal. But is it?
How many families find it difficult to have one meal a day together?
Challenges: busy work and school schedules mean a lot of time is spent in transit. The ease of fast or convenience foods discourages us from taking the effort to make quick meals at home. In addition, we eat in our cars between locations or on the run, or at different times of the day from each other.
Impetus for change: Do you have the connection with your whānau that you want? Do you spend enough time with each other to know what is going on in each other’s worlds? When you are all at home…do you spend time in the same room or does everyone go off to their spaces, possibly behind closed bedroom or lounge doors, spending the day or evening in their own company or with their technological friends?
None of this is a problem if you feel that this whānau connection works for you and there is no reason to want anything different. Or does it?
“Establish consistent daily movement (30+ minutes) that energises you.”
This again might seem like an easy goal to achieve.
However, it takes concerted effort to make it happen.
Gains in this activity have a positive influence on other aspects, weight, health, and well-being.
Challenges: These are similar to whakapapa connections; busy schedules, and a lot of time is spent in transit. Sedentary work roles in front of computers or online. Work hours that discourage making personal time to focus on your health.
Impetus for change: Have you found yourself out of breath when going up stairs…or do you avoid those and always take the lift? Do you find your clothes are more ‘snug’ than they used to be? Are you always going to do that one day…”take a walk during lunch”, “get up early to exercise”, “walk to the shops…versus taking the car”. Whatever you choose, it must be something simple and achievable.
“Define purpose beyond roles and titles”
This can be a difficult goal to begin with, most of us are not comfortable putting a mirror to ourselves and asking, “Am I who I really want to be?”, “Do I know my real self?”
Challenges: How many roles have been assigned to you? A sibling? Mother, father, partner, employee of ‘X’ business, a professional…how many roles? How willing were you to take on those roles, or did they ‘happen’ to you? Having a role assigned can be a comfort, in that they ‘explain’ who we are…or do they?
Impetus for change: If you were to wake up tomorrow and be whatever you wanted to be…would you have the same roles you have now? If yes, then do you feel fulfilled by those roles? If yes, then do you look forward to every day knowing you are living the best version of yourself? Some people can say yes to all of these; there are also those who cannot. Which category do you place yourself in?
“Develop consistent spiritual practice that feeds your soul”
People can confuse this goal with religion, and although religion, for some, plays an important role, spirituality is more about inner peace and our connection with the world we live in.
Challenges: A repeating theme that also influences achieving this goal is that of a busy life, work schedules, and sedentary work practices. If it is difficult to find 30 minutes in a day to take a walk or get out of the office, then finding that same amount of time to feed your inner self will be just as challenging.
Impetus for change: In a similar way to the other Pou are you living your best life? Do you find yourself taking time to be ‘still’ or do you rush from one activity to the next to try to ‘pack in’ as much as possible? What will happen if those things don’t get done? If you took 10 minutes and enjoyed the morning sun, or listened to the rain as it fell on the roof, what would you miss from your busy schedule?
Our last example.
“Cultivate positive self-talk and challenge inner critics that diminish your worth or capabilities”
The way we think about ourselves has a profound impact on the choices we make. There is an easy test. When you are doing the things you love, your thoughts are positive, you feel successful, and you achieve what you set out to do. When you are doing things you have to do, they can be difficult, are less rewarding, and often you can’t wait until the experience is over. The approach for both is based on how you feel about those tasks or activities (your choice), which in turn impacts the experience (outcome of that choice).
Challenges: Similar to the roles we have in life, our self-talk has an outcome on what we experience. As a parent, it can be that you may find yourself comparing yourself to others, which in turn impacts what you tell yourself. Then there are influences of what we see on social media, online or television, that give a view of the ‘ultimate’ person. Theodore Roosevelt said, “Comparison is the thief of joy”. So true a statement.
Impetus for change: What role models have you had during your life? Have they brought the best out in you? Encourage you to become the person you always wanted to be, or have they diminished you in some way? Does your self-talk uplift you or bring you down?
Practical Applications of Te Whāriki o te Ora
By working through those examples, more questions were likely raised than answered, and that is the purpose of Goal Setting. Getting you to think clearly about what you want to achieve, but also to ensure that effort is going into activities that bring you to a place of wellness.
It does take time to create meaningful goals.
It took time to get you to where you find yourself today…and to change that…will also take time. You might find you are changing habits of a lifetime. What starts you on that change is the strategies you put in place to achieve those goals Te Whakatakato tō Mahere (laying down the action plan).
We will talk about that next week, as well as ‘Wants and Needs’, the 3-check test and how they also influence the choices we make.
Embracing Continuous Growth for a Better Future
Personal development is not a one-time event but a lifelong process. Embracing the changes you want to make in your life begins with setting Goals (Te Whāriki o te Ora). As well as accepting that the journey can continuously evolve, require adaptation, and help you learn to thrive in an ever-changing world. The key is to remain open to learning, be patient with setbacks, and celebrate progress, no matter how small.
Whether you are just starting or looking to deepen your growth, integrating these techniques into your routine can lead to profound and lasting transformation. Remember, the journey of self-improvement is uniquely yours, and with the right tools and support, the possibilities are endless.