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Why Am I Not With My Mum and Dad – The Question Children Carry What the Whakapapa passes on – the Children of the Wound

Why Am I Not With My Mum and Dad – The Question Children Carry What the Whakapapa passes on – the Children of the Wound

The continuing story of Mere

Children of the Wound

This is the fourth piece in The Whakapapa of a Wound. We have followed Mere from the washing basket, through the biology of her childhood, into the relationships that replicated what she first learned about love. Now we turn toward the children.

Toward the question that is the most tender of all: Why am I not with my Mum and Dad?

I Keep Choosing the Same Person with a Different Face – Trauma Bonding

I Keep Choosing the Same Person with a Different Face – Trauma Bonding

The continuing story of Mere

She is in her forties now.

She left the first one after seven years.

She told herself she had finally chosen better. New city, new beginning, new person. She believed it completely.

The second one looked nothing like the first. Different face, different voice, different reasons she fell. It took four years before she realised she was standing in the same room with different wallpaper.

By the third time, she stopped telling people. Because how do you explain that you are not stupid, not weak, not choosing this — and yet here you are again?